Trying to balance mom life is hard AF.

My main reasonings for starting this blog is because lately I have been feeling super guilty. I have three beautiful children and some days….I honestly just wish I could be just about anywhere BUT home. I love my children to death but being a mother can be overwhelming.

With my first and second child, I always went back to work full time. There was never an option, and financially we were never able to even entertain the idea of me staying home. I always felt so guilty that I was leaving my children to be taken care of by someone else and going to work. But now that we are financially stable, with our third child my husband and I made the decision for me to stay home. We knew it would be much better than paying for childcare and/or needing to rely on family to watch our children while we worked.

I was SO excited in the beginning. I was imagining ALL the chores I could finally do around the house, the events I would get to attend, and all the fun activities I could take my kids to go do….

Fast forward to about 4 months in and boy was I living in a fantasy land. Don’t get me wrong, I do have ALOT more time to get errands ran, chores done and I get my toddler out of the house much more but it is definitely not the glitz and glamour I had imagined in my head. And I should clarify that I am not a full time stay at home mom. I reduced my work schedule to only 18 hours a week, just for some money to not completely rely on my husband.

Now I have two different forms of guilt. I feel so guilty staying at home, when I feel like I should be working and contributing to the household financially. On the other hand, I feel guilty when I am at work because I feel I should still be home with my children. It’s like walking on a balance beam and always feeling as though you’re going to fall off the edge one way or another.

I know I should be grateful that I get to have the best of both worlds, being at home to watch my children grow but also some “me” time at work and helping out some financially. But it still doesn’t take away that nagging feeling that I should chose one side, and fully commit to it, either full time work or full time home.

So if you are currently experiencing any of this, or something similar, just know your not alone!

Xoxo,

Alexis